The Watching Eyes
by Omega Squirrel
Summary: It all began with a noise outside my window... but elevated into much, much more than I could have possibly imagined. EIGHTH CHAPTER UP. Rating due to gore, language, and raccoon abuse.
1. Chapter 1: A Spooky Noise

(an: Hey all. It's been awhile since I've written a fic. Well, anyhow... I've decided to dedicate this fic to my sickening obsession with animal crossing... I have no life anymore. So, here it is. Enjoy it, or don't enjoy it. If you don't enjoy it, please flame me. Yes, you are welcome to flame me. Because I probably deserve it.)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own animal crossing, nor do I have any money. So don't sue me.  
  
Animal Crossing: The Watching Eyes  
  
-Chapter 1  
  
-A Spooky Noise  
  
It was late one night in the happy town of Spooky, and I was sound asleep in my prettyful spooky bed. But of course, my pleasant dreams of death and destruction were disturbed by a loud noise coming from outside the window...  
  
I sat straight up, and reached for the light switch. "Hey... wait a second... I don't have a light switch," I thought to myself. So instead, I press the "Z" button. Ah. Much better. Now I can see. So, I stumble out of bed, and peered out the window into the darkness.  
  
A vague outline ducks behind the trees. "Dang, that tom nook certainly does like playing tricks." I mumble to myself cynically. Groggily, I point to my spooky vanity and say "You. Remind me to kill him in the morning." And, thinking nothing more of this incident, I slip back into my happy-time slumber.  
  
But then the next morning...  
  
The sun awakens me. The birds are... well... there are no birds, but if there were any birds, they'd be chirping. I sit up in bed, not feeling at all rested. For a second, I stop to wonder why. I look 'round my room with half opened eyes, and spot my spooky vanity. Ah yes. Now I remember. That damn raccoon was pillaging through my garbage. And I made a mental note to kill him. Or at least piss him off a bit. Ohhhh, yes, Mr. Nook was in for a day of hell.  
  
After shoving my axe into my pockets and putting on my favorite skull shirt, I trudged out the door with my mission. Maybe I'll cut down all the trees around his store... that would get him plenty mad. I smirk, and decide that this is the appropriate punishment for his thievery of my sleep. On the way there, I stop at the train station, and see that it's ten o'clock... just about time for our good friend Nook to open up shop.... and now I'll have my revenge! Quite happy with my plans, I skip over to Nookington's to stir up some mischief.  
  
My knuckles rap loudly on the window. "Oy, Nook, open up, ya weasel!" I scream. No answer. I have no patience for this! I tap my feet on the ground and wait for the blasted hell raccoon to open up his blasted hell shop. I wait for about an hour. Fine. If Nook won't fess up to his crime and open shop... then I'll make him open shop. Hee hee hee... The axe blade flashes in the rising sun. With three quick swipes, the door to Nookington's has been hacked into oblivion.  
  
Stepping around the pieces of splintered wood, I scan the area of the first floor. It's dark. Something is amiss (in acre A4)... Timmy and Tommy are sound asleep in cages that are way too small. "Aren't there laws against child labor?" I ponder for a second. But I shake it off, and proceed to the upper floor, axe in hand...  
  
I cautiously peek around the bend; absolutely no light shines into this room. So I turn on the lights. Recoiling slightly, I see a trail of crimson along the red floor. Now that's pleasant. It seems to lead behind the clothes rack... I clutch my trusty axe ever closer and tip toe to where the blood trail ends. My smile-line drops and the axe falls to the floor. There, in front of me, lies Tom Nook's maimed raccoon body. 


	2. Chapter 2: Alas, I Hardly Wanted to Kno...

(an: right! So here be chapter two... I hope you enjoy the random and totally stupid prattling.)  
  
-Chapter 2  
  
-Alas, I Hardly Wanted to Know Ye  
  
A feeling of nausea overtakes me, and I clasp one block-hand to my mouth in disgust. It was just too gruesome to look at; I really think someone ate his intestines. Overall, it was really hard to tell because it was all just a bloody mess of raccoon flesh and cheap fabric.  
  
But wait a second. I stop and study the corpse. That's Tom Nook! A smile slowly creeps across my face and tears of joy come to my eyes. "Whoo hoo! Ding dong the raccoon of hell is dead!" I joyously think. "And that means..." I paused in my thoughts for a second, then cried out loud for all the world to hear "I'M DEBT FREEEE!!!" Yes, no more would that stupid bastard bother me about paying off the lousy 700,000 bells that I still owed him! I did a small victory dance around the corpse involving the fervent waving of my axe.  
  
I stopped waving my axe in mid-swing as something dawned on me. "Oh." I state "I should probably tell someone, or something." Being very careful not to get blood on the axe and incriminate myself for a crime which I did not (But would have liked to) commit, I shove my weap- I mean "tool" back into my pockets where it would be nice and safe. I practically skip down the stairs.  
  
Timmy and Tommy were still sound asleep in their cages. I gently rap on the bars of Timmy's cage, causing him to yell "AHH! Uncle Tom, please don't hit me again, I promise I'll sell it right this time! I PROMISE!!!" However, when he saw it was me, he calmed down slightly and politely asked to be let out. Yes, I was prepared to give him and his brother a solemn talking to about their dear uncle Nook and his abrupt and gruesome departure from this world.  
  
"What?! You mean it, he's really gone?!", shout the twins in unison. "Um, we mean... That's awful, Uncle Nook was so good to us that he gave us a piece of stale bread once a day for grueling slave labor in his shop. God bless his soul." They bowed their heads solemnly in a fake prayer. I smile at their charade, very pleased to know that I wasn't the only one who hated the money-grubbing tanuki.  
  
I tap Tommy's shoulder lightly and ask him to go fetch Copper. He seemed to flinch a bit when I did this, and his eye twitched slightly. I supposed it was due to all the physical and emotional abuse that Nook probably put him through. That poor little raccoon. Tommy scurried out the door obediently.  
  
Officer Copper arrives on the scene promptly, along with his creepy lackey Booker. "What officer Copper sees..." he began, examining the body "...is one mangled and messed up raccoon." I wanted to say "Well, no duh, moron," but I held my tongue, and diverted my attention to something else. Booker was standing right next to me, staring at my face. "Ummmm... all of our items are lost.... I think..." he said. He just wouldn't stop saying that. It was getting rather annoying. I tried moving across the room, but he followed. At this point I was considering using my axe to lay down some carnage on his carcass. Instead I choose to ignore him and pay more attention to Copper's analysis of the body.  
  
"Well what officer Copper sees here is a good amount of bite marks, mainly in the abdominal area. Someone... or something must have really had a craving for raccoon spleen." stated Copper bluntly.  
  
"Thanks for sharing that. Especially in front of the children, who, might I add, have been through enough emotional and physical torment to last a lifetime already." I said.  
  
"Officer Copper-"he started, but I cut him short.  
  
"And for God's sake, man, quit referring to yourself in the third person!" I shouted.  
  
And finally... Copper shut up.  
  
There was a small, informal burial outside of Nookington's department store on that glorious sunny day. In other words, we threw his body into a shallow pit in the ground, poured some soil over it, and said a few religious sounding words. And then we ate cocktail weenies in his honor.  
  
We'll miss you, Tom Nook. But not really.  
  
(an: Despite the finalized sounding statement at the end of this chapter, there is still more to come. Oh yes, we still have to find out who our sick raccoon eater is. So stayed tuned, I will get another chapter posted as soon as I can... I really mean it this time!) 


	3. Chapter 3: Unwanted Guests

(an: Ha! You didn't think I would, but I did, I really did! Here is the third installment of Animal Crossing: The Watching Eyes. I hope whoever decides to read this (ha) enjoys it as much as they liked the last two. A special thanks to those who have already reviewed; your support keeps me writing.)  
  
-Chapter 3  
  
-Unwanted Guests  
  
After my delicious feast of cocktail weenies, I head back home with high spirits. Suddenly, I become aware of footsteps from behind me. Without even turning around, I sigh and say "Why are you two following me?" This was said more like a statement than a question. Timmy and Tommy, who had been following me at a distance until now, walk closer to me.  
  
"Well... even though Uncle Nook was a manipulative, greedy, evil, child- beating raccoon, he was all we had left," trembles Timmy  
  
"And so, you see, we have no place to go now," says Tommy pitifully.  
  
I merely sigh and roll my eyes. I'm no babysitter. "Well, don't they have orphanages around here?" I query.  
  
The infantile raccoons shook their tiny little heads slowly and apprehensively, as if expecting me to bite them at any second. Would I do such a thing? Actually, yes I would, if raccoons didn't carry rabies. So I just weakly smile and say "You can stay with me for the time being.", and then I continue walking the path to my house. Oh, I'm such a terribly generous person.  
  
"Yeah... You two can sleep up here... It's a little bit creepy, but that's ok," I said when we arrived at my house and motioned to my upstairs room. It is an oddly tranquil room; the mossy carpet creates a sort of nature-y sense, and the ivy wallpaper adds a feeling of mystery. And of course, my nebluloids and percoloids add to the whole "nature therapy" theme. It was just too bad that there wasn't a bed up there yet. None the less, the twins were happy to have something to sleep on besides steel.  
  
By this time, it was getting dark and spooky in the town of Spooky. Which meant that the spleen-eater would be likely to strike.  
  
The windows now had boards over them, and I made a few... shall we call them "minor adjustments" to the door. With these security precautions in place and the children asleep, I slumped into bed, hoping to God that I didn't get brutally maimed and my internal organs were not eaten. 


	4. Chapter 4: The Museum Trip

(an: wellllll, I hope you tolerated the last chapter and decided to read this one. If you didn't read the last chapter, all that really happened was that Timmy and Tommy came to live with me. And if you did read the last chapter, and found it boring, and afterwards you found yourself saying "why did I read that?", and now you see that you didn't have to read it... I express my apologies. And if you did read the last chapter, and found it amusing... good for you! Whoa... I'm confused... o.O;)  
  
-Chapter 4  
  
-The Museum Trip  
  
The morning light gently awakens me with warm rays of golden sun. How I hate it. But still, I'm glad to have my proper twelve hours of nightly sleep. Oh yeah, today is definitely a "Doom Shirt" day. After donning my daily attire, I go upstairs to check on the youngins'.  
  
"Gyeh!" I cry out as I recoil in fear. Both of the twins are staring directly at the staircase, unblinking. Definitely NOT the sort of thing I want to see first thing in the morning. "Ho- how long have you two been awake?" I inquire, wanting to know how long their attention span actually was.  
  
"Oh, we've been up for about two hours," they say simultaneously.  
  
I just stare at them for a few seconds.  
  
Right then. Today is a good day for donating stuff to the museum, since I have a super-rific T-Rex skull I've been intending to donate. I motion for the raccoon kids to follow me out the door... for some reason I have a strong urge to put them both on leashes...  
  
The museum is quite a ways away, but we get there in due time. Blathers is more than grateful for my donation, and wouldn't stop... well, blathering, about how much he appreciated it. Like I care, Blathers, just put the damn thing up so everyone can see how awesome I am. But of course, I just smile and nod all through his speech on the stupid T-Rex.  
  
I feel a pull on my skirt. I look down to see Timmy and Tommy pointing in the direction of the fish. I sigh, nod my head, and then they practically drag me into the other room.  
  
"Wooooow..." I say, trying to amuse my company. "Look at all the pretty blue water!" I point to the empty fish tanks. I found myself quite amusing. Timmy and Tommy, however, did not. They merely look at me with bored faces and say, "Can we go now?"  
  
I nod my head. But first, I just have to check out my awesome T-Rex skull. We exit the fish tank room, and walk into the main hallway. Blathers, it seems, isn't here. "Ah, good," I think, "He must be setting up my fossil..." And, jumping with anticipation, I stride into the dinosaur room.  
  
The familiar annoying music is playing. I look up to see my new addition, and see a gruesome site. Blathers' butchered body is hanging out of the T- Rex mouth. "Well, another one bites the dust," I say amusedly as I look up at the corpse.  
  
I turn to Timmy and Tommy, who have also seen the body and are looking at it with unblinking eyes. "You guys know what to do," I say, as if this sort of thing were routine. They blankly nod. This was yet another thing for them to add to their resume of mental maladies. They scurry off to find Copper once more.  
  
Officer Copper came very quickly, and was done examining the body within minutes. The diagnosis was the same. Internal organs ripped out, bite marks... That was obvious. And, once more, Booker would not stop staring at me and following me around the museum.  
  
When the annoying duo had left the building, I realized it was time to take matters into my own hands... Yes, that's right, this was a job for...  
  
Lokii! Super-Spiffy and Utterly Inexperienced Detective!  
  
As this name forms in my head, I strike a heroic pose. Unfortunately, Timmy and Tommy are still in the room and look at me like I'm crazy. I clear my throat, regain a normal posture, and grab a bubble-pipe like the one Sherlock Holmes uses out of my pocket. Ah yes, I was definitely going to have fun with this one.  
  
(an: Whoo! Wasn't that fan-tabulous? Send me your reviews, tell me what you think. Your input is greatly appreciated. And thanks much to those who have already reviewed! I love you guys! But not... that way... o.O) 


	5. Chapter 5: Interrogation of First Suspe...

(AN: Wahoo! Wow, betcha didn't think I was going to write anymore, did you? Ha ha. You were wrong, apparently. And hey, I think my grammar skills have even improved a bit. But... I haven't written anything for awhile, so it might be a bit shoddy... Bear with me.)  
  
-Chapter 5  
  
-Interrogation of First Suspect  
  
Yes, this was it. With my mind dead-set on solving this mystery, I barge out of the museum. The raccoon twins follow obediently. However, for sheer fear of my sudden enthusiasm they don't trail too closely.  
  
Timmy cautiously steps forward. "Um.. If... If you don't mind me asking, where are we going?" he trembles, and Tommy, of course, follows with the last word of Timmy's sentence. ("going")  
  
I stop, and cast him a smirk. "Well, dearest Timmy, I'm going to invade some poor sap's privacy and try to drive them insane with stupid and meaningless questions that seemingly apply to the murder-mystery at hand, but actually they do not!" I explain. Seeing the look of obvious confusion on his little raccoon face, I turn to walk once more.  
  
I smile wider than before as I spot something up ahead. "Ah look boys. There's our first victim." Yes. There, in front of me, lay the house of Tom. (*sigh* It would sound so much more dramatic if the little bloke had a last name. For the sake of drama, his name shall be Tom McTomtein. Okay, let's try that again.) There, in front of me, lay the house of Tom McTomstein. (Ahh, much better.) (By the way, that's Tom the cat, not Tom Nook. Dear old Nook is dead, 'member? Ha ha.)  
  
I knock three times on his front door. Hm. Two seconds is much too long to wait for him to answer. Looks like I'd better chop it down! I smile and pull the axe from the black hole in my pocket. Timmy and Tommy simultaneously let out a squeak and run for cover. By the time they return from hiding, I'm panting and the door is no more. "Hey, look guys! We can go in now!" I say cheerfully. They both exchange worried glances.  
  
Whistling a cheery tune, I step over the shambles of the door and enter Tom's poorly decorated house. Unfortunately, he's nowhere in sight. Maybe if I go through each and every one of his personal belongings, I'll find him. I turn around and make a note that the children haven't followed me inside. Pity. They're going to miss all the fun...  
  
"Oh god, please don't hurt me.. Please don't let them hurt me.."  
  
Now, where is that whimpering coming from...? I look behind the couch to see a huddled blue mass of fur. Wonder what's up with him. "Oy," I say as I poke him with my axe, causing him to scream, "OH GOD!! Just take my bells and leave me alone, please!!"  
  
Hm. Not such a bad idea, but... not what I came here for. "Hey, doofus, I have to ask you a few questions!" I tell him. He quivers more. I sigh, and spend some time explaining the no one is going to kill him...Yet. Bwahaha. After awhile he manages to sit up and stop crying.  
  
I can't help but wonder what's gotten him so riled up. Could it be that he spilled something on his new 8-mat tatami? Could it be that they've cancelled his favorite soap opera? Could it be that the spleen-eater has been here? Could it be that he's just witnessed some horrible, mind- altering event that will likely scar him for the rest of his life? Oh, the humanity!  
  
He sees me pondering and says, "No, you idiot, I'm scared because you broke my goddamned door down with an axe!" Oh. Well that explains that. With that covered, time to get down to business.  
  
"Now, Mr. McTomstein. Have you seen anything.. unusual these past few days?" I inquire.  
  
He nods.  
  
"Anything having to do with... murder?"  
  
He nods again.  
  
Alright, now we're getting somewhere. I rub my pixilated hands together and ask another question.  
  
"Do you know the identity of the spleen-eater?"  
  
He nods slowly, forcing back tears.  
  
I urge him to tell me.  
  
He opens his mouth slowly, cautiously as I tremble in anticipation.  
  
"It"  
  
Ah, the first word. All of my hard work, all of my dedication, finally paying off! Well... I didn't actually do any work... but that's besides the point. He begins to speak again.  
  
"was"  
  
Yes... I can just feel the sentence slowly piecing together... in a short time, I shall know the identity of the murderer.  
  
His mouth tries to form the last word... but then...  
  
A black shadow moves in front of him in the blink of an eye, and red spews from his neck. He sputters, and falls over. I wipe some blood from my face where I've been sprayed and look to the shadows.  
  
A dark figure sits there, licking its paws... or whatever the heck they are. It seems to be a dog... or cat... or something. I can't really tell. It hisses, then darts out the door before I can go get a better look at it.  
  
Tom twitches a little bit on the floor and burbles something that sounds like "Mommy." I watch with interest. Maybe I should get help... Nah, that would be too much effort. He abruptly stops moving. I prod him with the blade end of my axe and he does nothing. Yep. He's definitely dead. Oh well. Someone should go get cocktail weenies...  
  
I wipe some more red flecks off of myself and say, "Well. That was interesting."  
  
(an: Well, that concludes this chapter. Morbid, ne? Hehe. Yeah. I think I enjoyed writing that...) 


	6. Chapter 6: Beautifying Spookyville

(AN: Omgwtfbbq I'm updating. After like, a year. Didn't think it would happen, did you? Thought I was dead, didn't you? Well, repent, ye sinners, for I hath returned! And with grammar! DECENT GRAMMAR FOR ALL!!)  
  
-Chapter 6  
  
-Beautifying Spooky-ville.  
  
I whistled as I made my departure from Tom's house (Not before swiping his Tall Nebuloid and a couple thousand bells, of course. Waste not.) and returned to where Timmy and Tommy where standing.. Actually, quivering would be more accurate. They seemed to do that an awful lot.  
  
"W-where are you going??" the terrible twosome asked as I walked past them.  
  
I tossed my axe in the air and caught it mid-spin, put it back in my black- hole pocket. "Let's go dig crap up." I pulled out my ever-so-trusty Golden Shovel.  
  
We walked for quite a ways until we came across one of the familiar cross- marks in the ground that marked the potential position of buried riches. I pressed A, thrust old Goldy into the ground, applied leverage, and unearthed my prize.  
  
Buried riches? No. It was a fossil. A lousy fossil. Why? What did I do to deser- I stopped myself mid-thought, realizing I've done plenty of things to deserve much worse than eternal diggy-fossil-up torment. But then the next patch we came to was a fossil. And the next, and the next, and the next, and the next...  
  
Until finally..  
  
My raccoony comrades and I came upon an odd sight.  
  
The ground around this patch was raised and earthy, and the cross mark was hastily hewn as though someone had placed it there to disguise it as something no one would want.. something no one would find... as a fossil. Because no one really wants fossils. While that in itself was suspicious, I decided that the loosened earth would be an excellent opportunity for the raccoonlets to learn to use a shovel. I thrust the handle of the shovel into their waiting paws, and went to busy myself with something else. (Something else = Hitting neighbors with butterfly net. Repeatedly.)  
  
It was about half an hour later when their juvenile squeaks interrupted my extremely important business.  
  
"This doesn't look like a fossil.." said Timmy as he gingerly poked something with the end of the shovel. Tommy stared on, matching Timmy's blank and uncaring look.  
  
I raised an eyebrow and shoved my net back into my pocket. Slightly agitated, I walked over to the dig site.  
  
My jaw dropped as I saw...  
  
(AN: The chapter ends there. MID-SENTENCE CLIFFHANGER'D!!! It's a new marketing technique. And by marketing technique, I mean I'm lazy. Never fear, though, because I'll post a new chapter as soon as I get more reviews! Sneaky, aren't I? ;D  
  
AAN: And yep, I did a lot of correcting in the previous chapters because the lack of grammar was disturbing me. I also removed some unnecessary Author's Notes.) 


	7. Chapter 7: What is that?

-Chapter 7

-What. . . is THAT?!

. . .An item. A regular old brilliant green leaf. Well, so much for suspense. I thrust it into my pocket and threw a doggy treat at the twins for a job well done. They snatched it up greedily, and an image of piranhas swarming a manatee carcass came to mind. I shook my head and checked the name of the item I'd just claimed.

Something definitely was not right. I started emptying my pockets to see what the item looked like, but then I remembered I had to be at home in order for it to change from its annoying bright-green leaf form. Damn you, Nintendo.

"Guys. . . Wait here. . . I have to. . check something. . Woosh!"

I made a mad-dash for my house (thankfully, it was only an acre away). My blob of a hand closed around the doorknob, and I clamored inside to confirm my worst suspicions.

Trembling, I turned out my pockets.

On the floor: My axe, butterfly net, and...

Suddenly Tabby the Cat was there. Or, her head was, anyway. It was missing a few things. Like a nose, for one thing. But she didn't have much of a nose to begin with, so I shrugged that off. What truly bothered me was the fact that one of her eyes had come out of its socket and was staring in my general direction.

I sighed deeply. I should be disturbed by this. Really, I should be. Going to need lots of counseling after this whole thing is done. Yes. This was obviously something worth reporting to the authorities, no matter how incompetent they may be. But how to transport the evidence. . . I looked at the severed head. It looked at me. And suddenly, with a sense of repulsion and utter disgust, I realized that I would have to put it back in my pocket.

I eyed the butterfly net. Yes, that would work nicely. I picked it up and it thwapped nicely around the body part. Don't ask me how, but it did. I shoved the conjoined items into my pocket. The item description now read "Severed Head Net." Lovely. I made a mental note to beat someone I really, really disliked (Like Hank) with it, and left to recover Timmy and Tommy.

They were busy apathetically fighting over who got to use the shovel, which I solved by grabbing it and thwapping them both over the head. Probably not too good for their already deteriorating brains, but it got their attention, at least.

Feeling their way-too-big-and-very-creepy eyes on me, I vocalized my plan of action.

"Let's let the authorities deal with this, and then we're taking a well-deserved vacation."

(AN: Wow, I honestly thought I'd never update this fic again. I suppose that Imakoo is to blame because I read their reviews and felt really guilty about not updating for so long. XD I mean, I didn't even know that people still read AC fic. Wow. Really wild. Really.

cough Ah, yeah, enough reminiscing. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as the previous ones, and hopefully I'll get another chapter of this up a lot sooner this time.)


	8. Chapter 8: Arrival

-Chapter 8

-Arrival

The raccoon wonder twins and I made haste for the train. The fact that I had a severed head in my pocket was still a little disturbing, but then I reasoned that it really wasn't on my corporeal body at all. In fact, the contents of my pocket were more than likely in another dimension which was created solely for the carrying of my items. This contemplation calmed me a bit, set me more at ease. It was somehow comforting to know that I carried an entire plane of existence in my pocket.

We boarded the train at approximately 5:00 p.m., our minds set on enjoying ourselves at the expense of another town. I had brought a great many old boots and spare tires for the occasion, and had the plan of digging an abundance of holes, preferably around some poor sap's house. Who knows what the twins were contemplating on this most wonderful of ventures; I could only assume it involved copious amounts of staring creepily.

Having boarded, my team took a seat in one of the horrendously uncomfortable box-chairs. Surely, no one would want to sit in these things for any longer than they had to, I thought. Surely… Not. I had forgotten about a certain creature, one whose very name was enough to drive hardened criminals insane upon its speaking, one whose existence was forged by the gods of Nintendo as a punishment to their blindly loyal consumers, one who never stopped riding this train. This creature was the one known as Rover.

"Mya ha ha ha, hey hows it goin lol?? Havent i seen u before? O RITE! Your that one girl who lives in B-3 and has a black roof and the full spooky set and changes for bed at 11:00 and has that really nice body and haaaawt purple hair and- i mean uh ur that girl who i sold to tom nook. who I… told tom nook to sell stuff to you. yea. im not a stalker btw lol"

Yeah. Rover was the epitome of every scary guy or girl stalker you've ever the misfortune of meeting. Pure evil? Perhaps. Social ineptitude? Definitely. By the time he had finished babbling in his stupid little language I was ready to gouge my own eyes out. Well, maybe not mine. Maybe the twins' eyes. But the point is, Rover put me in the mood for gougin'.

I told myself to wait. I told myself, "It's only for a minute. Rover will be gone soon. Don't bloody your hands. Here, have some cartoons," and the remembered images of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy kept me sane for the remainder of the trip. As for Timmy and Tommy, they seemed to have an uncanny ability for making people very uncomfortable. Rover's attempts at conversation were met with vacant stares. God bless those little stare-factories, I thought as I stepped off the train

The time was now midnight. Not only that, but it was two days earlier than in my town. What can I say, my friends are cheaters. What can I say, my clock wasn't right either. Does it really matter? At this point, to me, it didn't. Something else had caught my attention.

The trees. Oh god, the glorious, glorious trees. They were everywhere. They covered every inch of the town. I stared at them. My hand unconsciously slipped to my pocket and was soon holding a razor sharp axe. As I did this, my eyes slowly welled up with tears and my other block hand absently felt the edge of the blade. The raccoons stood behind, as entranced as I was; they were watching a very sacred ritual, after all.

I slowly approached the tree. It almost seemed to bow, almost seemed to know what was coming. I stared at it and returned its mental salute, paused for a moment of silence, then. . . Everything was a blur. My axe flew backwards and forwards five, six times, and the tree lay dead at my feet. I had slain one of the foul beasts, but how much work would I have to do? I looked around; enemies on all sides. Yes, I would stay here for a while. Stay until every last one of the loathsome things had gone from my world.

And lo, for hours I hacked and slashed to my heart's utmost content. How many I cannot be certain, for I was possessed by an otherworldly ecstasy, something primal and beautiful. It did not stop until every last tree in the town had been felled.

Gradually, my thirst for blood (or sap in this case) quenched, I slid back into reality.

Timmy and Tommy were gone.

((AN: So, apparently, this is another chapter! Who would have thought it? It's hilarious that I started this fanfiction three years ago and keep on coming back to it. I suppose I'm kind of like Weird Al that way! Anyhow, my grammar is better than ever! I'm at the point where I look at the previous chapters and cringe! I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it's significantly different from the first ones.))


	9. Chapter 9: Nooks and Not Correct Clocks

-Chapter 9

-Of Nooks and Not Correct Clocks

Now where could those little bastards have gone to? There's not many places they could have gone; it was still early in the morning here. I couldn't quite figure how a two-minute train ride became approximately six hours, but there's the magic of Animal Crossing for you. Or the magic of people messing around with their Gamecubes too much. Whichever.

In any case, I had been cutting down trees for many hours. A great many hours. What time was it now? Around 8 a.m. Geez, I had really gone nuts. Boy, was it great. All those trees…

…Anyway, I had to figure out where those two little bundles of joy had disappeared to. I checked near the police station, I checked near the player character houses; I checked near the beach. I checked nearly the whole damn map. I guess there were a FEW places I hadn't checked… like all of the animals' houses. But they were never home, and if they were home, they were horribly annoying. So I wasn't going to look there. There was another place, though.

The old Nook place. The kids in this neighborhood say it's haunted by the ghost of Old Man Nook, who was murdered one night by his favorite cheap vest, and came back as an angry spirit, doomed to tell his sad tale for all of eternity to whatever poor sap happens by. No, actually, I made that up, but I still needed to check Nookington's.

Except it wasn't a Nookington's here, it was a Nook 'N Go. How quaint. I stepped up to the door and promptly axed out all of the glass. Nook was dead, after all, I could do anything I wanted. And so I did. Axed the glass out, took some paint cans, some shitty furniture to pawn off on my neighbors, anything I could grab. I heard something rustling behind the counter. The kids, I thought. Well, good, they should help out. I mean, it's not like the black hole in my pocket will be able to carry more than 24 items.

Only, when I looked over, it wasn't the raccoon twins at all. Instead of seeing double, I was seeing single. And I was seeing fat. And I was seeing cheap fabric. And… Oh god, was that Tom Nook? And why was he alive?


End file.
